Friday, August 03, 2007

Sluglike

That's how I feel today. It's Fiesta in Santa Barbara, and I want nothing to do with it. It's a big excuse for tourists to get drunk and stupid, and not one, but two huge parades (which dear reader, I avoid like the plague).

Of course, it could be because I have no one with whom to attend the Old Spanish Days festivities.


Seriously, it must be getting time for me to get back to school (I can't believe I just said that). I'm spending far too much time alone in my head. Torn said I was "overanalyzing" the other day when I was talking about the dance partner dude. Well sheesh, overanalyzing is what I do. There could be a picture of me in the dictionary next to its entry.


My friend Katrina very sweetly decided to throw a Birthday barbecue for me in a couple of weeks. She sent out Evites a few days ago; there's more people declining than accepting so far. And of course, it's because my birthday is in August, the travel month. Everyone is going camping or traveling or to a wedding or a baby shower; I shouldn't feel bad about it, but I do. Then there's the folks who received the evite and haven't responded at all. Oh, I know, some are out of town or something, but not all of 'em. It makes me feel like they're waiting to see if something better will come along before they commit.


My nerd complex mixed with some people's lack of manners is getting me down. I mean really.


Back in the day of written invitations, I had a wine and cheese party. This was about 12-13 years ago. I sent out about fifteen invitations, to singles and couples, and asked people to RSVP. I needed to know how much wine and stuff to buy.


Only one person called me to say she wasn't coming.


And only four showed up.


That was a low point in my entertaining days.


Then, other times, you know, just a spur of the moment get together? Twenty people show up at my house. I don't know if it's the invitation that intimidates people or what? And now, all you have to do is check a box on-line. Yes, No or Maybe (like those letters I used to write to Kenny Mendoza in junior high; "Do you like me? Check one of these boxes").


Am I crazy to expect good manners from my friends?


And besides all that? Why hasn't dancer man Mark called me?



Just to end on a good note, here's a picture of Charlie boy actually looking at the camera. Gosh I love the little guy.

6 comments:

CoffeeDog said...

I too am always hesitant to throw a party because what if no one comes? I am always very good about RSVP'ing, and if I bring a present to soneone's bday party a thank you card is nice, but now a days is a rarity.

Dancer dude - can you call him and ask him to Fiesta?

Charlie boy is a cutie for sure. Mmwah to him and you!

Chunks said...

I'm like you in the way that when I invite people to something, I expect to hear an answer back. It pisses me off when they don't. In order to spend less time pissed off though, I chalk it up to expectation. If my expectations are not there, then whatever response I get is better than what I've worked it up to be in my head.

As a guest though? I can totally understand not wanting to commit to something (that sounds AWFUL!) Sometimes the best time is had when it's organic, not planned or scheduled and people are so busy nowadays. I know that is no excuse for bad manners but I get why people do that.

I don't know if it would be passive-aggressive or not but maybe you should get Katrina to cancel the BBQ plans and just see what happens. Your real friends will make a point of sharing your day with you. You won't feel bad about it and you won't have to risk your feelings being hurt if only a few can make it.

Man, I feel chatty today! This comment was as long as your post!

Charlie has the cutest face, I could just squeeze it!

chella said...

and i think...novel contract in the wings...such good writing...poets just hang out and feel depressed about life, dogs, birthdays, everything...except...dad's visit is great...
c

tornwordo said...

Yeah, why hasn't he called? Dangit.

Snooze said...

I don't get why people don't RSVP when one is asked for, but I also agree with Chunks - make it super casual and people tend to drift in. Regardless, don't equate the love out there for you with attendance at a function.

GayProf said...

I really wouldn't take the declines personally. As you pointed out, it is a travel month. When I was back in Texas for the last time, a good number of people could not attend my going-away cocktail party for the same reason.

In the meantime, you should plan an intentional day of staying home during Fiesta. Watch junky t.v., eat junky food, and just take a break from the world.