Uh-huh.
So my spring break starts with getting a crate again for Charlie-boy, driving to Mom's to get some kind of casserole (American Chop Suey? what the hell is that? Was I out every night mom served that for dinner?), and a playpen thingamagig Sister needs to put Niece in when Sister is out in her office.
Then drive to Carol's house to drop off Wonder dog, because the little 22-pound guy makes Sister's dog, Gargantua, "nervous" (which actually means that he bites Charlie for no reason), and then back to Sister's house for three fun-filled days of fetching things and cleaning things and cooking things for Sister.
I know. Bitter, party of one?
Selfish is how I feel. I mean, it's my niece, right? Shouldn't I be thrilled? I am. I am thrilled there's more to my family now. Family does mean everything to me.
But I didn't have the baby. I didn't choose to have a baby all by myself. And I'm a little resentful that there is an expectation that I'll just be there like I always am.
I'm sure a shrink would have lots to say about all this.
Let me end on a lighter note.
We had a great big windstorm two nights ago. Patio furniture flying across my little yard, flower pots falling over and breaking, and electricity that went out for about 12 hours. Anyway, coming home from work yesterday, I saw this little guy.
I'm guessing he somehow got in there, and then couldn't get out because the sides were too slippery. Can you see the beautiful blue-green spots on his back? I ran in, got my camera, and snapped a few pictures, and wished I had a better camera. Then I tipped the pot over to let him get back to the business of being a lizard.
I promise to be in a better mood the next time I post.
4 comments:
Oh I have so much to say, I'm debating in my head do I say it? Oh god. Okay, I will try.
If you don't want to go see your sister, DON'T!! Don't rearrange your life and then go there and be her personal assistant just because you feel like you should. Do it because you want to or don't do it. Family is important but so are boundaries and because you are such a kind soul, people (especially family) are eager to take advantage of that.
When YOU feel like coming home, leave. If your sister is anything like mine (and she sounds like she might be) she thinks she is the first woman ever to have had a baby and expects the world to come along her ride through motherhood and be her personal assistant. ACK! It makes me insane.
Oh God, I've turned your comments into a therapy session! Sorry! Come home soon and blog again. Charlie boy needs you! And so do we.
Sounds like a schlep fest. I like what chunks said. Boundaries.
Hey hon, your bitterness is your friend. It is telling you that you are doing too much for your sister and also that you are doing it against your will. Whatever you think, like "oh this is the way I'm supposed to act and the things I'm supposed to do and everyone knows it" are just unexamined societally installed lies.
I know, societally is either spelled incorrectly or not a word at all. Oops.
I'm sending hugs.
My therapist would say, "You have to take care of yourself. Others will take every advantage they can if you let them. Do what is right for you."
Your spring break is for you, and you only get one a year. If sister complains about anything you offer, remind her how she has acted in the past and ask her what kind of double-standard she maintains and how she can rationalize treating people, especially family, like crap. And isn't it amazing she treats her friends better than her family?
She can't ask her friends to do the things she asks you to do because they'll say "no." My mother pulls this same crap on me, and I recently lost it and told her off. She stopped asking. I am happy. :D
That's my bitchy $0.02.
Btw, I love you for saving the life of the little lizard. I'd like to be resurrected as a lizard in your back yard.
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