The wind changed again

This was yesterday afternoon. Part of the smoke looks like thunderclouds, but to the right is the orange-y smoke from the day before. No ash yesterday.

So, I went to the hip-hop class again with my friend at the other gym. It kicked my butt. I had to wade through all the Fiesta stuff to get there yesterday morning because there was the Children's parade. Ick. Even where I normally park was closed off. Ah well. The endorphins kicked in anyway, and not only the wind, but my mood changed.

See, several of you have mentioned that I could, you know, invite Dancer Man Mark for a coffee myself. You're right, I could.

But I won't.

How come, you ask? Don't I know it's perfectly fine for a woman to ask a man out in this day and age? That for some men, it's actually a turn-on for the woman to make a move?

Yes, I know.

However.

Not in my world. Oh yes, I've asked out men before, been assertive, made the first move; it never goes well. Now, before you all start yelling at me, this is only my opinion on the whole idea. It's not published or anything, and you can feel welcome to disagree, but please don't yell at me.

Here goes:

Men who are interested enough in me, are going to ask me out. Period. If they are too shy, then it's not going to work. I send plenty of signals, so it's not like they have no idea if I will say yes or not. Confidence is one of the top three things that attract me to a man in the first place. Not arrogance mind you, confidence.

Also, the times when I have asked a man out, confusion has occurred. Does he pay? do I pay? who makes the next move? All that crap. It throws a man off his game. In addition, most straight men don't have much practice in turning down a woman politely. Which means either they laugh (yes, it's happened. "Oh, you were serious?") or they say yes even when they aren't interested because they don't know what else to do.

Okay, I know, the whole "If a woman asked me out, it'd be hot," I've heard from my men friends who like women. What they leave out is the rest of it: "... IF it's someone I'm already interested in."

And that goes back to my other two points. If he's already interested, he should be taking the chance and doing the asking. If he's not interested enough, my asking him out isn't going to change things.

Now, once things have been established (okay, I'm interested, he's interested) then it doesn 't matter. I'm not one to stand on tradition here. I also think it's lame for the man to always be expected to pay, to always determine where the relationship is headed. I don't sit around and wait for a call; if I want to talk to someone, I call him. None of this, "He called me on Tuesday, and it's only Thursday, so I can't call him until Sunday." Rules like that are stupid.

So, I'm trying to take the advice from several friends; go with the flow, enjoy the moment, and take things as they come. You know, all that foo-foo-la-la crap people tell you when you are perseverating on something you don't have any control over.

I'll let you know how it goes.