Saturday, September 02, 2006

Comfort

We all have different levels of it. Right now, mine is somewhere near the bottom.

Cramps. Horrible, nasty, forget the joy of yesterday, cramps.

I know, how boring for half of you out there. Sorry. Skip this post if you'd like.

My annual "lady parts" checkup was a couple of weeks ago. I talked to the doctor (I'm sorry, Nurse Practitioner. It took me six weeks to get an appointment with her, and it would have probably taken six months to get one with a real gyno. Wonderful HMO system we have) about my cramping problems, and she looked at my chart,
"You're how old now? Yeah, 42. Well, you might think about -- surgery is an option at this point."


No she didn't.

She didn't just imply that I should have a hysterectomy, did she? Did she? Good god.

"Oh no. I'm not ready to give up all hope just yet. I just want something for the pain."

"Have you tried Ibruprofin? Heating pads?"

"Well, duh. Yes. This isn't a new problem bitch. If you take the time to look at my frickin' chart, this has been getting steadily worse over the last few years."

okay, so that was on the inside. What I really said was,

"Yes."

Went through the whole dance about birth control pills, and how that helps a lot of women. Had to explain that I have a hard time with them (make me crazy, I tend to get depressed on them) and that unless I'm using them for actual birth control (which is unnecessary due to my involuntary celibate state), I don't want to take them.

She then shrugged at me. Really, she shrugged. I asked if there were any kind of muscle relaxants or something stronger than Advil that I could take.

She shook her head and gave me a pitying fake smile as if I was trying to score some drugs to sell on the street.

No drugs stronger than Advil for the pain, but I could have major surgery to have all my plumbing removed. Boy, that makes sense.

She really was a bitch. I couldn't believe a woman was treating me like this. I know, how sexist of me, but men don't experience cramps, so I'd at least be more understanding if one tried to blow my pain off, but this woman.

I've been in pain all morning. I am thankful I'm not teaching right now. It's always a drag when I have to be in total control when all I want to do is curl up in a ball, go to sleep and wake up when it's over.

There has got to be a solution.

7 comments:

Doug said...

I don't know how into research you are, but if I might be so bold, I would suggest you do some research into alternative therapies for your cramps.

I have read a lot of different articles that relate to depression (I'm on Effexor). Interestingly enough, many of the articles about alternative therapies for depression mention some effect on PMS symptoms.

Here's one article I found in a quick google search that says that PMS may be related to levels of blood calcium. My first instinct to increase calcium would be more sunlight, magnesium supplements (epsom salt with lemon juice is a great source), and yogurt or kefir if you're not lactose intolerant.

I do not trust modern medicine. The internet has tons of good information. Some of the info is bogus, but a little diligent research can usually ferret out the good stuff. Trust your instincts. If you think the doctor is full of shit, then she probably is. Get a second opinion, seek out an alternative therapy/holistic doctor, try some supplementation on your own advice.

Sorry for rambling. I hope you feel better soon.

*hugs*

Anonymous said...

I am a bit shocked that your two choices from her were Advil or Hyster???WTF???? I agree with Doug, there are a lot of natural supplements out there that some people say help a great deal. So much for wonderful western medicine. Hope you feel better! Devo

tornwordo said...

Poor you! That's like suggesting a lobotomy for a headache. Ridiculous. Is there a ratemydoctor.com? Because that would be the place to bust her.

Chunks said...

I'm also ovulating so I apologize for any hostility in advance. This book is awesome for perimenopausal symptoms and how to deal with them. It's now in paperback. Get it. Learn it. Live it.

Oh and go back to that bitch and punch her in the ovaries and tell her "Chunks says hey!" This is why I make sure I see a man doctor. Men are in awe of vaginas because they don't have them. Women are bitches.

GayProf said...

Surgery?!?! Um – That’s insane and your HMO sucks.

Should could have at least given you Motrin 800 (which you can create without a prescription by simply taking four of the over-the-counter Motrins).

GayProf said...

Oops-- Meant "she could have"

St. Dickeybird said...

Find a new NP. She sounds psychotic - suggesting a hysterectomy!!!!!

And huh? Involunterily celibate??
I just can't see that...
:)