So...

I don't have the discipline (or the life exciting enough) to write every day. I think about it, but then I don't have enough to write down, or what I do have to write down is whiny complaints... which no one wants to hear.

Okay, a recap:

For some reason, I was late to work three out of five days last week. I'm never late. We have to be at work at 8, and school starts at 8:30. And, I live about two miles from work. This time change is just making it hard to get up early. Yeah, that's it, blame it on something other than myself.

I didn't get accepted to a workshop I'd applied for. It was surprising to me, because I'm not used to being turned down. No, it's not that I'm so fabulous, it's just that I don't apply for most things unless I think my acceptance is already in the bag. This particular workshop was sponsored by the California Testing Board, to become an item writer for the standardized test given in this state. I think standardized testing has gone far overboard, and I think some of the questions on this test are inane, but I also thought it would be a great way for me to learn how this test is written. I had to send in a letter of application, and a resume. A resume! I haven't written one in ten years, but I got it done.

Then I got back a form email thanking me for my interest but that others were chosen. No explanation. It really made me feel crummy. I have no idea why I wasn't chosen. Was there a typo? Did I send in my application too late (there wasn't a deadline, just a "first qualified-first filled" statement)? Were only college professors chosen? I have no clue. There wasn't even a name to which I could send a follow-up, "What can I do to be better qualified?" letter. Just the
California Educational Testing Service. It felt crappy.

I made a joke during a staff meeting about how my boss's idea of "impeccability" and mine were different (he's on a new anal compulsive jag about classroom cleanliness. That's not what he calls it though, he says he expects a "State of Impeccability" in every room. This from a man who keeps a framed picture of his son in the closet in his office instead of out on a bookshelf somewhere. I have a more, um... artistic sense of organization). He had just vaguely threatened those "Certain individuals, I'm not going to say who right now, who aren't keeping their rooms clean enough" with losing their rooms and becoming roaming teachers. That's when I asked for clarification, since our definitions were different. Every one laughed and we moved on.

Yesterday in his office, he told me he was "incredulous" that I would have made that comment. Went on to tell me how inappropriate it was, and that I'd better figure out what it was he wanted, and pronto (of course, actually telling me or anyone else specifics about what he wants is too difficult). Pissed me off. Still does. He's so into making these threats, but doesn't give any information about who specifically is not living up to expectations, nor does he make those expectations clear. Grr.

Going to the Dodgers - Giants baseball game tonight. Whatever. I like baseball enough, but I'm missing my best friend's baby shower today. I didn't realize the two were on the same day back when I got the ballgame tickets with 7 other women from work. Poop. I got all this cool baby stuff from Paris when I was there, and I'm probably going to have to just leave it for her. I called her three times yesterday; I suggested I come over earlier today to give her the gifts. Got one terse message from her last night "I don't know when we'll be there. Can't make any promises. Why don't you just wait until the baby is born?"

Almost snotty, except my best friend is never snotty. Trying not to take it personally, but...


I guess this week feels like the week of fuck-ups. No matter what I do, it's not the right thing.


I lost another 1.2 pounds this week, and made reservations for my Las Vegas trip with Torn this July, so not everything was a bummer.