will this one work?

So, I wrote a post, and saved it, but decided not to publish it. Some things are better off not being made public.

I wrote a different post, and didn't save it, so of course, the internet ate it up. Figures.

Maybe it was Fate. You know, making me write again, so I write what I need to write, or some Kum-by-ya thing like that.

The other day, Tornwordo wrote about woman having thrown themselves at him all his life. Being one of the women in his life, I immediately made it personal. I shouldn't do that.

After deep thought and introspection, I can honestly say I wasn't one of those women. I don't throw myself at anyone. Could be the reason I'm still single.

Okay, maybe that's not 100% true. I have a faint and embarrassing memory of my early 20's, several Gin and Tonics, and the buddy of my friend's fiance. He was cute, and polite to me, and I developed a little crush as the night went on. As my blood alcohol level went up, my crush increased. This man was going to be the father of my future children.

The last thing I remember about that night (my friends who witnessed it will never let me forget), are my hands on either side of him, on the wall against which I had backed him, and his face flipping from side-to-side as I tried to kiss him..."no...uh... I have a ... uh ... girlfriend.."

Good God. Can you believe I just told you that story? Neither can I.

So, anyway, I will amend what I said above: I rarely throw myself at anyone.

What must it be like to have people throw themselves at you? I don't know the answer to that. I'm not someone against whom people fling themselves.

I'm more of an acquired taste. People tend to have an instant reaction to me; they either like me immediately and think I'm hilarious or think I'm an obnoxious boor. After that, if they stick around, they realize I'm both and neither.

Men do not grovel at my feet. They don't come courting and send me flowers. I've never been whisked away in a limo or an airplane or even a taxi to an exotic local or a fancy restaurant. It's not that I sit at home and pine away for Prince Charming, I just don't run in the circles where that kind of thing happens.

At 41, it happens even less.

The compliment I've heard most from men I've dated is that I have a "warm heart." This is usually said right before they say they "just want to be friends." or "I'm not ready for a relationship right now." or "You know I'm gay, don't you?"

The compliment I've heard most from men I've not dated is, "You're easy to talk to." I tend to fall in love with men that are great friends. If I spend a lot of time with a person because I like that person, and he happens to be a man, there's a good chance I'm going to fall for him.

At the same time, if a man is spending time with me as a friend, he's not thinking of me as a potential romance, so by the time I'm head over heels, he's decided to confide in me about his adoration of his brother-in-law's sister. I'm firmly ensconced in the "buddy" seat.

It's been like this since high school.