Debt

I'm terrible with money. I love spending it. I'm horribly materialistic, and most people know of my bath and body product addiction. I don't have a digital camera, or I'd take a picture of all my lotions and shower gels and creams and powders and fragrances. I have enough lotion for eternity, yet I always want more. I don't know why buying things means so much to me, or why I only buy small items. I still have the same tiny TV I bought 7 years ago when I got my own apartment, and I still have the half-price-because-it-was-a-floor-model stereo I bought at Sears over 10 years ago. I've never bought a couch, or a chair or even a coffee table.

Yet I nickel and dime myself to death.

Today I got a phone call from my dentist's office. See, a few months ago, he put in my first crown. Insurance only paid for half of the $1000 price tag. I paid$130 of my bill...Then ignored the monthly statements. Don't ask me why I did that; I know better. Anyway, it was a fairly ominous call stating that I needed to pay the $400 I owed in full. Ouch.

And the thing is, I've been working so hard to pay off my credit card debt. For 5 years, I've been paying about a fourth to a third of my monthly paycheck to my debt. As of July, I should be done. I say should be, because I'm doing it through a credit counseling service. Right now, there's a bit of a problem with the amount that's allocated to each of the remaining credit cards that need to be paid off. It's possible that I will overpay one of them, and not finish paying off another one, but that will be a temporary problem. It will all be worked out by the end of the summer.

Also, my car (and it's 13%!!!) loan will be paid off with my last payment in July. Oh happy day.

But, that doesn't help the immediate situation. $400 is an amount I should have in savings, but I don't. I will figure something out; I always do. I just wish I'd learn.

What is it about spending money I don't really have that is comforting to me? Why do I do it? Do I think I'm going to lose it if I don't spend it right away?

It's a question for the shrink I guess.

I need to go do some calculating.