Finally, Kevin, Part Two

Okay, recap so far:
It is December, 1984. Kevin, Jennifer and I have all been friends since high school. Kevin and Jennifer have been having a "thing" since high school. Kevin had gotten very serious about Jennifer. Jennifer has gotten very serious about someone else. I know this, because they've been talking to me. They don't know this, because they haven't been talking.

Kevin is planning to do a study abroad program in Denmark for the second semester. After that, he's got plans to backpack through Europe for the summer before he comes back to finish his last year and earn his double-degree. I'm looking foreward to seeing him during Christmas Break, since I won't see him for almost a year afterward.

Okay, so it's the day before Christmas, around two in the afternoon. I'm annoyed about having to share a room with my 17-year-old sister for a couple of weeks while I'm at my parents' house, so I'm out in the living room, watching It's a Wonderful Life for the millionth time.

The doorbell rings, and I see that it's Kevin at the door. Hurray! I'm rescued. I open the door, say "Merry Christmas!" and go in for a big hug.

It's like hugging a telephone pool. He looks at me and says,

"I was just over at Jennifer's house."

(Oh shit.)

"And you knew."

And he is pissed off.

I try to defend myself... but he isn't buying any of it.

"A real friend would've told me."

Turns out, Kevin had gone over to her parent's house to surprise her. He had bought a round trip ticket for her to travel in Europe with him that summer. That was going to be her Christmas present. How romantic is that? How many college boys would do something like that? As a surprise? Oh gosh. Where is my Kevin?

Her mother had answered the door, he asked for her, and mom said,

"Oh, I'm sorry Kevin, Jennifer is down in San Diego with her fiance's family."

God.

Can you imagine?

And he drove straight over to my house.

Now, in my defense, I didn't know she was spending the holidays with her new guy, and I certainly didn't know she was engaged. She and I talked more than she and Kevin did, but not much.

I look back now and wonder why I was ever friends with this person who just treated others like crap. I don't know.

I wonder how this woman inspired romantic, sweep-her-off-her-feet gestures in men, by being selfish and mean, while I, by being honest, loyal and constant, became every man's confidant and buddy.

I still wonder.

Kevin recovered. He and I are still close, and I'll be going out to Washington DC to see him next month.

This summer, I've really been reminded of what's important to me in friends. I tend to allow bad behavior and make excuses for others, rather than calling them on it. I get hurt easily, but try not to show it (not always successfully). Do I deserve it? Being teased, or chastised, or made fun of? No, I don't.

Kevin doesn't do that. He treats me with respect, he challenges me when he thinks I'm wrong, and he makes me want to be a better friend.

He's not one to get all gooshy about things, so I'll have to pour a couple drinks into him. Then I'll be able to tell him just how much his friendship means to me.

So here's my challenge for you today; tell someone how much and why you appreciate them. Tell them to their face, call them up, send an e-mail. Just do it. You'll make their day. And you'll feel better too. I promise.