Monday, May 29, 2006

Ahem... what was I saying about cramps?

Such a charming way to start the morning. It's Memorial Day, a holiday, no school. I'm warm, but not too warm, snuggled in my jersey sheets. Charlie the wonderdog is nestled up against my calf, it's the almost light before dawn, and all is right with the world.

Except.

I feel a slight... dampness between my legs. And not in a good way. I'm just sweaty, that's it.

No.

I get up, aforementioned dampness turns to a waterfall, and I shuffle off to the bathroom to take care of it. It looks like I was shot. Blood dripping in the toilet, down my leg, there was even some on my ankle from my hurried dash from the bedroom.

Off with the nightie which looks as if there was an entry wound, but no exit in this shooting, and the spraying of it with Wine-Away (I didn't have any Spray n' Wash). New pajamas with a protective layer of old panty just in case. Back to the bed to inspect for damage. Yep, the shooting took place in here. Through the sheets and the mattress pad. Not quite to the mattress, so the victim couldn't have been on the bed too long.

Damn it.

So, strip the sheets off the bed, more Wine-Away, and out to the washing machine in the early morning light.

This is all before 5:30 in the morning.

Hooray for another day.

3 comments:

tornwordo said...

I don't know how you can live with those things.

r said...

Well, at least if I had to nurture a fetus through nine months, I know I would certainly give it enough nourishment.

chella said...

ah, periods...they're something magical. remember the gorilla girls? they saved menstrual blood & used it in their art. then there are those gardeners who save it for the soil, swearing it rejuvenates anything that won't grow. life in a rural southern town goes slowly. i'll post something about it. still flying back june 19! btw, there's one ww meeting a week on tuesday in the first, not second or third but first, baptist church and i'm going this week! love, c