What If?

My writing group met yesterday, and then we had a barbecue and I drank too much wine. Not enough to be drunk , but enough to have a hell of a headache this morning. Not good when facing 137 eighth graders in their last week of junior high. Ouch.

Our writing exercise was "what if?" based on a poem about the kind of quarterback Hamlet would've been.

Here's what I have so far:

What if the Joabs won the lottery?
What if Tess of the D'Ubervilles played roller hockey?
What if Mrs. Haversham tried Match.com?
What if Jesus was in a boy band?
What if Cinderella was a dominatrix?
What if Dante's Inferno had a special level for those men who never put the toilet seat down?
What if Romeo had met Brittany Spears?
What if the Wicked Witch got Botox and a facelift?
What if Jack Sprat went on the Atkin's diet?
What if Lucy let Charlie kick the football?
What if the three little pigs were chosen for Extreme Makeover, Home Edition?
What if Rhett came back?
What if Huckleberry went to Annapolis?
What if Wordsworth had written about a Mexican pot?
What if Jack Keroac had taken his road trip on the internet highway?