Tired of apologizing

I'm in a mood today. I'm really sick and tired of the finger pointing game. You are wrong because you do this. You are wrong because you are judging me wrong for doing this. You are wrong because you believe this. You are wrong because you don't believe what I believe. ___________ (fill in the blank with whatever group is pissing you off today; Gays, Christians, Women, Parents, Republicans, Jews, Teenagers, Dandie Dinmont Terriers) are the culprits, the enemy, the bad guys.

No one knows what goes through anyone else's mind. One person, ten people, ten thousand people speaking do not represent anyone else that is not speaking. You don't know what I'm thinking, what I believe, unless I tell you. And even then, you only know what I chose to tell you.

An example. Everyone has gone to school of some sort or another, therefore everyone has an opinion of what school is, what teachers are, and what students do. That doesn't make one an expert, any more than going to church or temple or Mosque makes you a theologian. It's easier to lump everyone into a group... we'd never make it through the day otherwise, but it's also damaging.

We base our ideas on our past experiences, yes, but we have to be open as well to new ones. If I say, "everyone that voted for Bush is an intellectual moron," I'm also saying that there is no discussion to be had, because really, what kind of talk can there be with a moron? I am really curious to speak to those who voted for him. Not the group that just came out of fear; I really do believe we have more that going on in our country.

My mother made the statement the other day that "rich people just don't care about anyone else." Another example of broad generalization that gets us nowhere. How can she know that? does one negate the other?

An English professor of mine told me about a letter he wrote to his son while his son was living on a Kibbutz in Israel. In the letter, my professor told his son that negotiations with Palestine was pointless for Israel, since you can't ever have a compromise with a Palestinian. The son wrote back, and told him, "If you say that, then there is no hope."

My professor told me this story just last year, but he said it was an a-ha moment for him. He wrote back to his son and agreed. I believe this too. The moment we start laying blame, guilt, judgment on an entire group of people, we've lost. The audacity we are capable of! As if we, all on our own, know the right way to be ... Or, as is more usual the case, we don't know the right way to be, but it sure as hell isn't the way that group is.

Damn it.

We will get nowhere with that kind of attitude.

Don't you dare say you know me because you know what a Christian is, or a woman is, or a teacher is.

You don't have a clue.